Khamis, 17 Januari 2013

Memahami, Bertolak ansur, Sabar penting dalam sebuah perhubungan

Dialog di bawah ni dihantar oleh seorang rakan chat sya yang tinggal di New Zealand.. Tentang perbualannya dengan salah seorang rakan chat nye..

This is one of the chats with an Indonasian Muslim woman who was feeling lonely and got addicted with internet chat with other men. Her husband works bit far, so she miss him often.
Things became so worse that she addicted to the chat for 24hrs with men worldwide.
The girl name is given as “Maryati”.

Maryati: Ok back.. His normal nature is friendly.. Sometimes humoris
Rabi: good
Rabi: wr is ramli?
Maryati: Go to his office/mess
Rabi: ok but today is off ?
Maryati: in his office.. No dayoff..  Bcz its still a project
Rabi: ow ok
Maryati: Yaa..
Rabi: Maryati....
Maryati: Yes.. Rabi..
Rabi: plz don wory, these issues are very common among couples
Maryati: yes.. Rabi.. I just think that why he seems not understand what i want..what i should do..
Rabi: in the modern society.., many couples solve this problem by having extra marital relations. But for true muslims this is haram, the society is now mostly  immoral, extramarital affair has become a fashion
Maryati: Yes rabi..Thats true
Rabi: Shaitan always try to turn the attraction of husband to other women, even though his wife is so cute, he feel attraction even to other ugly women, this will happen to wife as well, shaitan plays on her to turn her focus to other men, even though her hubby is sufficiently handsome, she feels attraction in other men.This is a testing form Allah
Maryati: Yes rabi.. U r right
Rabi: actually in this world there is always a fighting between influence of shaitan and wishes of Allah. a true muslim.. when he tries to live according to the wishes of Allah, shaitan comes to attack him. But if he/she is strong in faith, shaitan will fail but if we r weak, shaitan dominates
Maryati: Yes..
Rabi: we can see.. one example couples express extreme romance before their legal marriage, right?
Maryati: Yes rabi..U r right
Rabi: actually this is effect of shaitan because premarital romance is haram
Maryati: Yes..
Rabi: shaitan always put attraction in haram but after the marriage the degree of romance comes down because romance after marriage is ibadah (worship), shaitan always put boring in Ibadah
Maryati: Hmmm.. Yes..
Rabi: at the same time hubby may enjoy romance with another woman, it is influence of shaitan, he may be attracted towards illicit relationm same thing happens to wife as well
Maryati: Yeah
Rabi: That is y Prophet says to husbands ... if you are attracted to any  woman other than ur wife.., suddenly rush towards to your wife and fulfil your desires. this is the way of protecting us from Sahaitan. same thing is applicable to wives as well
Maryati: Hmmm..ok..
Rabi: I am slowly coming to your problem. please be patient with me
Maryati: Yes.. Rabi.. I'm listening
Rabi: did you understand what i discussed now?
Maryati: Yes.. i got it.There is an influence of syaitan..
Rabi: in short..., there is always some attraction to haram and boring in Halal
Maryati: Yes..
Rabi: this is testing from Allah. Allah wants to check us whether we are attracted to haram or not but one thing is surely promised by Prohet..SAW. if we stick on to halal and try to avoid haram, shaitan will surely fail and Allah will give taste, interest and pleasure in doing halal. That is the real enjoyment of life but the modern society is not not experiencing that enjoyment, they are still running behind shaitanic enjoyment. you know ... we feel some sort of itching sensation when we have some wound on our body, right?
Maryati: Right
Rabi: especially when the wound becomes dry means at the curing stage. we feel itching, right?
Maryati: Yes..
Rabi: if we itch.... we feel very nice, right?
Maryati: Yes
Rabi: but doctors prohibit us from itching, and advise us to apply medicine but if we apply medicine.., we feel pain, u agree? we feel pain when we apply some cream on the wound, same time we feel pleasure  if we do itching
Maryati: Yes.. U r right
Rabi: but medicine is the ultimate solution to the wound. and itching causes wound to become more worse and may lead to further operation
Maryati: Yes..
Rabi: adopting medicine is the example of doing halal... and adopting itching is the example to doing haram
Maryati: Yes.. I got it
Rabi: modern society is now enjoying itching, they are not ready to adopt medicine coz they say that they feel pain
Maryati: Yes
Rabi: but one day they will realize when they see the people who used medicine living in  peace and they are still suffering from complicated wound. this is what we see today, all pious and Islamic people are in peace but the so called modernists are under the grip of many many problems. they simply hide their problems thinking of their image in the society
Maryati: Yes
Rabi: so.., the lack of interest of your hubby on you is nothing but a shaitanic influence, like the lack of interest in any other ibadah like solat
Maryati: Hmm...
Rabi: it is not because you are not pretty or sexy, it is only shaitanic effect. but now we need to think..., how we can solve it, that is important for us, right?...
Maryati: Yaa..
Rabi: when we think about solution...there are two sides, one is husband side, other is wife can focus only on wife side solution. husband side solution is not in ur control. as a wife..., how best u can contribute to the solution, let us see that
Maryati: yes rabi..
Rabi: I think todays lesson is enough
Ramli: Ermmm..
Rabi: please try to save the chat, so u can recollect the points later
Maryati: Oh .. I cant save it rabi... Bcz.. I'm on mobile But i already save it on my mind.. I hope its can help..
Rabi: I will save it and send to you
Rabi: in word file
Maryati: Ok.. Thank u rabi..U r soo kind
Rabi: so this topic we will continue tomorow
Maryati: Ok..Thank u for ur time.. Rabi..
Rabi: let us thank Allah for giving this chance to discuss on islam Alhamdulillah, we are doing ibadah
Ramli: Alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin

Note: Alhamdulillah she is now very close to Allah, she stopped all chattings with men, and deleted all her fotos from facebook, and yahoo profile. Few days back she told.. she can now sleep well without any chat (previously, it was not possible for her to pass nights without online chat with men). She also started reciting holy Quran daily morning, and avoided all sexy dresses when he goes to office. Let us pray for her and all other sisters who face similar problems.

Kesimpulannye, dalam hal rumahtangga ni : Kesabaran, kejujuran, keikhlasan, memahami, bertolak ansur dan sebagainya amat penting demi sebuah keutuhan hubungan yang di bina.. mencari teman di saat kesepian di alam maya, bukanlah satu jalan yang baik untuk menyelesaikan sesuatu permasalah mahupun untuk menghiburkan hati yang terluka..Kembali pada Allah...itulah jalan yang terbaik.. elakkan dari berlaku curang..Banyakkan mengadu pada Allah..Insya-Allah dipermudahkan Allah akan segala hal.. cari lah sesuatu yang memberi ketenangan yang berpanjangan kepada kita bukan nye yang untuk seketika sahaja..KEMBALI KEPADA ALLAH...

kepada rakan chat saya ini, terima kasih atas perkongsiannye...dan saya minta maaf atas ketidaksempatan utk bertemu dengan anda semasa keberadaan anda di Malaysia tempoh hari... :) 

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